Review of There Will Be Blood

Rating: 1 Star (Out of 5)

It's a good thing There Will Be Blood because There Will Not Be Dialogue. There Will Be Long Shots, but There Will Not Be Any Reason To Care for the Main Characters.

I could go on. In short, a Western remake of Scarface with a nauseating soundtrack (that one hears far too much of). The movie tells the story of Daniel Plainview, a ruthless man focused on the almighty dollar. By luck, he turns from a silver prospector to an "oil man" and begins to build an oil empire. To go too much farther into the story would be to give it away, but suffice to say, presented with several life choices, he consistently makes the worst possible choice.

I feel my biggest issue with the movie, forgiving its painful soundtrack and long shots (although it's good to know that walking in the old west is much the same as it is today. I think the movie spends at least 20 minutes just showing people walking), is that the main characters show no character development. My high school English teacher once said, a story should be able to be subtitled "The Education of [Insert Main Character's Name]."

Daniel Plainview is always an ass of a man, out of touch with his humanity, a living monster. At least in Scarface (which I don't care for much, either), we watched Tony Montana descend into a vicious coke lord. Plainview's character was born to hate his fellow humans, which he freely confesses at one point. What makes it particularly unbelievable is that he isn't even interested in money other than for wanting to get enough to move far away from everyone else. His antagonist, the reverend of the local church, also displays a consistent hubris and lacks the ability to learn.

The only reason this movie earned a star from me was for the final scene, which was well done. However, it was like the last 30 minutes of Star Wars Episode III; spectacular, but unable to redeem the hours of previous painful movie watching.

In closing, I should address the mounds of praised heaped upon this movie. Movies are the most complex inkblot test of all. Presented with a long, tedious film, the critics all rush to praise it as being a masterpiece, lest they be the ones to say that the emperor has no clothes. I am calling it like I see it; the emperor is completely naked. Insomniacs should get some much needed rest going to see this movie, but I recommend the rest of us to stay far away.

There Will Be Blood was released January 11, 2008. It was filmed on a $25 Million budget.